For five years I’ve been confused. There are three sides to me: creative, technical and business. The three sides battle for attention. Creativity is fun! Technology is fun! Business…? Pursuing creative and technical projects are inherently more rewarding to me. But somehow I found myself all wrapped up in business and strategy.
After reading dozens of business books, I really wanted to scale my business and bring in loads of money. I bought into all they hype and felt invincible. Personal development was central in my life. So I signed up for a global executive MBA at the University of Toronto thinking it would help me accomplish my goals.
Now that I am only three papers away from finishing, I realize that I really don’t want to pursue the corporate life. The opportunity costs of pursuing the corporate life is way too great. I’m happy staying small. I am no longer embarrassed, and once again proud, to introduce myself as a photographer.
It is so crazy to think that I was embarrassed to introduce myself as a photographer for years. Somehow I thought that being a corporate big shot, like a Chief Executive Officer, was more superior to just being a little photographer. In my thinking, as a CEO I’d feel more affirmed, being the boss and all. I felt that as a photographer I just run around doing the client’s bidding or creating ethereal stock photos. Where is the affirmation in that!
But here I am, relieved to be free of that false perception of myself. I realize now that I really don’t want to be a big shot. Throughout my entire childhood and young adult years I was never drawn to luxury rather the outdoors. Riding a dirt bike, barefoot waterskiing and snowboarding have always been, except for the last few confusing years, way more important to me than living in luxury while other people serve me or do my bidding. I am so happy that I’ve finally come to my senses and realized these things about myself.
There is only one richest man in the world and I am very glad that I am not him. Some extra cash to spend on toys does sound great, though. Pursuing outdoor adventure sports with my kids and prioritizing the social, technical and creative sides of myself is what I really want.